BOOK CLUB: Discipline is Destiny by Ryan Holiday
- jennysmithmattfeldt
- Jun 11
- 6 min read
By Jenny Smith Mattfeldt | Published June 11, 2025
Discipline is Destiny in a Snapshot.
Stoicism might sound like an ancient, dusty philosophy—something from a long-past era. But in reality, it’s more relevant now than ever. Our modern world is overflowing with distractions and endless conveniences that chip away at our ability to focus and control ourselves. To accomplish something meaningful or work towards any kind of purpose, you have to train yourself harder than ever to focus on what is within your control and let go of what isn’t.
Discipline Is Destiny is part of a four-book series by Ryan Holiday, an author who’s dedicated himself to bringing these old Stoic virtues to life today. Stoicism isn’t just theory it’s a philosophy of action. The people Holiday highlights weren’t just thinkers; they were leaders and mentors who lived by these principles. At its core, Stoicism teaches virtue as the highest good—the four pillars Holiday focuses on are courage, temperance (discipline), justice, and wisdom.
More than anything, Stoicism is about building mental and emotional resilience. It’s learning how to stay steady in chaos, calm under stress, and kind even when others aren’t. This book zeroes in on discipline, not as a vague feel-good idea, but as a muscle you build with relentless persistence and grit. No hype, no sugarcoating—just the unvarnished truth on what it takes to take control of your life and push forward.
Who This Book is For (And Who It's Not.)
This isn’t your typical self development book. It feels less like a motivational hype session and more like quiet advice from a solid, kind uncle (the kind who’s worked hard, stayed humble) and maybe used to throw down when needed. It’s not loud or flashy and it can be very dense to read. It’s steady, reflective, and rooted in the idea that real greatness comes from doing hard things for the right reasons not for fame or comfort, but because discipline is the one thing you can always control.
Gems From the Pages.
The book is broken up into three sections: The Exterior (the body), The Inner Domain (the temperament), and The Magisterial (the soul). The following are my favorite chapters from each section and the gems they contain.
We’re all slaves to something.
It doesn’t matter if it’s smoking, drinking, social media, food, gossip, or even unhealthy relationships—if it controls you, you’re not free. Full autonomy means first admitting what’s got you in its grip, then overcoming it completely. He uses Dwight Eisenhower as an example, this man shaped history but admitted he was a slave to smoking. After 38 years, Eisenhower didn’t negotiate or cut back; he simply ordered himself to quit—and he did. That kind of uncompromising discipline is exactly what Stoicism demands. How easy it is to minimize those “little” vices (like obsessing over an ex, sneaking a few drinks, or mindlessly scrolling on your phone) and dismiss them as harmless habits. But who are they hurting? You. Holiday challenges us with a simple test: 'if this habit was invented today, knowing the risks and the hold it could have, would you start it?'
Takeaway: For every single habit you have if you aren't changing it , you're choosing it.
Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing
Holiday drives home a lesson that’s deceptively simple but brutally hard to follow: focus is everything. He tells the story of Booker T. Washington, a man who was wildly successful yet known for being aloof and unapologetically selfish with his time. Washington put it bluntly, "there’s a never-ending crowd of people ready to consume your time with distractions that don’t serve your purpose". His secret? Saying no, often and firmly, to everything that didn’t align with his main goal. In today’s world, where everything is designed to distract and steal your attention, mastering this kind of focus is essential. He advises first getting crystal clear on your direction and asking yourself What am I doing? What is the most important contribution I make—to my work, to my family, to the world? From there, every yes has to be a deliberate choice, because saying yes to one thing means saying no to something else. Trying to please everyone is a guaranteed way to shortchange yourself. Nobody is making you give up your time and attention it is a decision.
Takeaway: If you want to achieve something significant, you have to bring all your focus, all your energy, and all your power to that one main thing. No apologies, no distractions.
Do Your Best
This chapter is a quiet smack in the face—in the best way. It’s human nature to start coasting. We get comfortable, start cutting corners, and convince ourselves we’re "doing enough." But Holiday makes it painfully clear winning doesn't matter as much as you think: "What does matter that you gave everything, because anything else is to cheat the gift. The gift of your potential. The gift of opportunity. The gift of the craft you've been introduced to. The gift of the responsibility entrusted to you. The gift of the instruction and time of others. The gift of life itself."
That line lingers. It forces you to look at your own life and ask: Am I really showing up? Am I really pouring myself into this the way I could? Because it’s not about winning. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about honoring what you’ve been given by going all in. Anything less is disrespect—to the people who believe in you, to the work that called you, to the version of yourself you haven’t met yet.
Takeaway: Doing your best isn’t about perfection—it’s about refusing to waste the life you’ve been trusted with.
The Lines I Highlighted.
Out of all the case studies two stuck with me long after I put the book down—almost haunted me: Marcus Aurelius and Lou Gehrig. One ruled an empire, the other played first base for the Yankees. Vastly different lives, but a similar undercurrent through both of them: quiet strength, relentless discipline, and a kind of poetry in their steady, head-down pursuit of purpose.
Marcus Aurelius
In Meditations, Marcus wrote:
At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: ‘I have to go to work—as a human being. What do I have to complain of, if I’m going to do what I was born for—the things I was brought into the world to do? Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?’
This line flashes through my mind most mornings when the alarm goes off. Do I want to get out of bed? No. But do I believe we made for more than just comfort? Yes.
There’s something so human and humbling about the idea that one of the most powerful men in the world, an emperor of Rome, had to pep talk himself into facing the day, too. That timeless reminder: discipline is a daily practice. Getting up each day and actually going after it with purpose takes effort. Comfort is easy. But you weren’t made for just comfort.
Lou Gehrig
Lou Gehrig’s legendary streak, 2,130 consecutive MLB games played, wasn’t just athleticism. It was discipline embodied. They called him “The Iron Horse” for a reason. His self-control, his physical mastery, his refusal to complain—it was all part of a quiet, unwavering commitment to the game he loved.
“At some point, Gehrig’s hands were X-rayed, and stunned doctors found at least seventeen healed fractures. Over the course of his career, he’d broken nearly every one of his fingers—and it not only hadn’t slowed him down, but he’d failed to say a word about it.”
I think about this line all the time. He kept showing up, day after day, not out of ego or glory, but out of deep reverence for the privilege of playing. He didn’t even acknowledge the pain.
It stuck with me so long I ended up reading The Lost Memoir, his autobiography. He was the kind of man who didn’t talk about discipline. He just lived it. And he left behind a legacy of what it looks like to hold yourself to a high standard, even when no one’s watching.
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