A Grown Woman's Guide to Thinking Like Your Higher Self

By Jenny Smith Mattfeldt | July 16, 2025

Because I promise you—your higher self isn’t talking shit about other people. She’s not stuck in a shame spiral over something she said three days ago. She’s not replaying worst-case scenarios while she's trying to fall asleep like it’s her part-time job.

She’s calm. Self-assured. Focused on the bigger picture.

And here’s the thing: thinking like her doesn’t require perfection, toxic positivity, or pretending everything’s fine when it’s not. It requires awareness. The kind where you catch yourself mid-thought and go, “Wait… that was crazy why did I think that?”

So much of becoming your next-level self isn’t about forcing yourself to act differently. It’s about learning how to notice when your thoughts are headed down the wrong path, and gently guiding them back.

This is your guide to doing exactly that. No guilt, no gaslighting just simple mindset shifts you can come back to anytime you feel stuck.

Part 1: Catch the Thought

The biggest piece of this entire equation is awareness. Before you can rewire or upgrade anything, you have to notice the original thought in the first place. And that starts with understanding a simple but life-changing truth: you are not your thoughts.

Your thoughts are not always true. They’re not always helpful. And they’re definitely not always coming from your highest, most grounded self. Sometimes a thought is just… a thought. A passing dark moment. A flicker of anxiety. A leftover belief you picked up from childhood, or TikTok, or your mom’s weird friend who meant well but was chronically stressed.

You don’t have to latch onto every thought that passes through your head.You don’t have to argue with it, fight it, or spiral down with it. You can just notice it—as an observer. Think of it like standing on a train platform. Thoughts come and go like trains. Some are going to feel empowering some are going to feel gross. You get to decide which ones you keep.

Part 2: Challenge the Pattern

Once you catch the thought, the next move is to question it. Just ask yourself simply: “is this actually something I want to be thinking?”

So challenge it. Try asking:

• Is this true?

• Is this helpful?

• Would I say this to a friend I love?

• Who gave me this belief—and do I still agree with them?

  
  

This isn’t about bullying yourself into positivity. You want to go towards a neutral place, it's about making sure your mind isn’t running on outdated programming.

Part 3: Choose the Upgrade

Once you’ve questioned the thought, ask yourself: what would I rather believe?

You don’t need to swing from negative to wildly positive. Sometimes the best move is choosing something neutral. It’s not “I hate my body” vs. “I love my body.” It’s just: “I have a body.”

That’s the upgrade—something calmer, kinder, and more helpful.

Part 4: Do it on Purpose

Just practice it on purpose. So much of mindset work isn’t about being perfect or never losing your shit—it’s about noticing when things aren’t sounding great in your head and pivoting to what you’d rather be hearing instead.

Look, you’ve got a long life ahead of you and it’s just you in there. So do the work now. Make sure inside your head is a nice place to be.

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